#13 - Where does our best come from?
Finding hope in the power of a clear mind
There are moments, in any endeavor with a wide enough scope (anything beyond brushing teeth or pouring yourself a glass of water), when we feel lost. Stuck. Unsure. Or maybe we feel like things are not moving fast enough, or we’re not getting enough bang for our buck.
That’s when each of us faces their understanding of life in a deep, naked way. No matter what we say when things are going well, it’s when we’re presented with a challenge that we receive the gift of knowing where we stand.
We get an answer to a fundamental question. One that can change the way our life unfolds:
What’s humanity's highest leverage point?
In other words, where does our best come from?
Structure? Willpower? Clarity? Commitment? Love? Inspiration? Focus?
Ultimately, these are just concepts. The answer only reveals itself in those naked moments. When you’re presented with a challenge, what do you resort to?
Which button do you press when the situation requires your very best shot?
Those moments are transformative. They help cut through the stories we tell ourselves. In my case, and for a very long time, my go-to response when faced with an unexpected challenge was to try harder. The highest leverage point - it seemed to me - was in effort, time, resources. When push came to shove, I looked for more - because more is what I thought I needed.
When you believe that impact comes from effort and an endless pursuit of more, it’s not surprising that the life you create feels overwhelming, tiring, and “not enough”. That’s what was happening to me.
Thanks to coaching, I progressively caught wise to how my (innocently misguided) understanding of where my best came from, was creating my experience of life.
And that’s when I realized that urgency is not an inevitable response to challenging circumstances. Urgency is the consequence of a misunderstanding about our potential.
These words are from one of my mentors, Fiona Jacobs (shout out to Nikon Gormley for sharing them):
When we look at a ‘difficult’, ‘challenging’ ‘impossible’ situation or outcome with an unclear mind - it looks overwhelming and our performance, our leverage, is based on time, skill and effort. And, although things may get done, we still may not ‘move the mountain’. And we are exhausted.
When we look at something difficult, challenging, impossible from a clear mind... well, a clear mind is utter genius, it is inconceivably intelligent; it is unstoppable. From a clear mind, insight to the next step or action takes no real effort, and we see a clear way forward (or around) no matter what we are facing. It is natural and unavoidable.”
Can you sense the game-changing potential of these words?
Impact comes from clarity of mind and not from struggle. Could it be? What would change in the way you’re leading your life if this was true?
A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a team busy with a very ambitious project for global change. It was obvious they were all very committed, brilliant people doing their best. Yet they felt like the traction they needed wasn’t coming.
Why? - you may wonder. Well, they were all running in emergency mode, scrambling for more resources, hoping that if they kept punching the wall with their bare hands eventually it would give in. And you know what? It might have! Sometimes, 1000 punches might crack a wall. But is it the best way forward?
The reason I’m bringing this up here is because I believe that understanding where our best comes from is essential to bring beauty, participation, and freedom to the world. Three words that sum up my vision for NoWay! and my intention for this 2021.
We tried so many things to “save the planet”, “fix injustice”, “eradicate poverty”. Collectively, we put effort, resources, time. We achieved good things, and a few walls fell thanks to the sheer power of our bare hands. But no mountain truly moved.
Faced with this challenge, we are thinking of more things to try, more people to involve, more noise to make.
Now, however, we need to bring our A-game. Yet we live in a constant state of urgency - a sign that our minds are clouded.
But it is a freaking emergency!! You may say.
I hear you. And I agree with you. That’s why we can’t afford to operate from anything other than our highest leverage point.
Anger is not it. Outrage is not it. Rush is not it. Urgency is not it. No matter the things we achieved coming from these states of mind. They won’t move mountains. What got us here won’t get us there.
This narrative of sacrifice, rage, and pain as the only way to achieve meaningful change became so ingrained in our culture that it seems weird to even consider that impact might come from a quiet uprising fueled by clear, connected minds rather than a lot of noise made by revved up ones. Read this last sentence again, though. It kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?
I feel hopeful, excited, and inspired by what’s possible for all of us. I believe there is nothing that human beings can’t do when they come together with a clear vision, a genuine intention, and an open mind. Let’s start from here. And let’s start now.
Here’s the simplest 4-step plan to change the world - starting today:
1) Please take a few minutes to consider the question “where does my best come from?”. See what you see.
2) As you consider the role of clarity of mind, start exploring the feeling of it. Start noticing how your “mental bandwidth” expands when you are clean and receptive, and shrinks when you’re in a busier, nosier mental state.
3) Refuse to settle for a clouded mind. Start taking steps from clarity. Make it a priority. From there, you’ll know what to do. Then take action. There’s no such thing as clarity without action. If you think your mind is clean but you’re still stuck, your mind is not that clean.
4) Connect with other people. Come together and explore those questions again. See what else is possible. Let the power of co-creation bring you beyond any barrier you may have encountered when going solo.
None of us can move mountains. But life can, and we’re part of it.
We got this. Are you in?
In this section, I share quick snippets of my own journey, unfiltered.
For me, there is something very human and comforting when I get to peek at someone’s ‘backstage’. This is me lifting the curtain for you, trying to hide nothing. I hope it helps.
Jan 9th, 2021 - In the game
I love the way this year started. A handful of very exciting projects and ideas are showing up. And I dove into each of them with passion and a touch of madness. I can’t wait to share some details here! But one thing I can say: all it took was for me to engage wholeheartedly with the world around me, and lo and behold opportunities started showing up. There is always a sense of fresh energy for me in January, but often also a slowing down that comes from the feeling of being at the beginning of a new long year. This time I decided to play differently. I’m treating January like it was December. I’m diving in. I’m engaging with what I care about without waiting for anybody’s permission, or for “my inspiration to come”. Let me be clear, I had multiple moments when I felt discouraged and tired in the past few days, but indulging in them didn’t feel quite as tempting as other times. And I’m having a blast!
This is not “the right way to do it”, just something that is working out for me at the moment. But if this resonates with you as you read, if you think it might just be the way you want to play, I encourage you to get in the game. Today. Now. Have fun!
I believe that the most important skill to train as humans is our capacity to notice. This column is an invitation to hit pause and connect with a single moment. A snapshot of something that is happening right now, or maybe a freeze-frame from the past. A sound, a feeling, a smell. Or something else entirely.
Snow.
This week’s Moment of Wonder is deeply inspired by the 3 days of non-stop snow that we had here in the Italian Alps. What a sight! What a feeling! Memories of childhood and invitations to play as grown-ups too. Snow is often a catalyst for wonder and magic.
My personal moment of wonder with snow is very recent. Last week we built a cardboard sled and went rocking down the hill with my little family. Pure joy. Moments I’ll treasure forever. And I’m reminded once again that silliness is a key part of who I am and who I want to keep being in the world. A good thing to remember when I start taking myself too seriously!
What moments come to mind when you think of snow? Memories, dreams, people, places… You can play on your own or share in the comments! Either way, have fun!
“Something Beautiful” is a new brief column where I share with you a movie, a song, a piece of news, or anything else I enjoyed in the past week that I’d love to share with you.
Agendaless conversations on lunchclub.com
This service randomly matches professionals to connect for 45-min calls. It’s mostly used for business networking to spot new opportunities and spark new collaborations.
But the reason I decided to feature it here as “something beautiful” is because I’m playing with it as a gateway to fall in love with interesting people around the world. Discuss themes we care about and imagine solutions. Share our stories. Or maybe a traditional recipe! No sales pitch at the end. No need to get anything out of it. Just the pure pleasure of being present with another human being, without a goal.
You should try it too! It’s exhilarating.
This is it for today friends! I have very good feelings about life’s invitations for all of us. I feel many new possibilities ahead. May you be able to participate fully in every aspect of life you desire too.
Love and wonder,
Nico
PS. As usual, please consider subscribing to receive NoWay! issues straight to your inbox. It’s free and your presence will make the difference. You can also sign up as a premium member to support my work further and help me grow this into a platform for beauty, participation, and freedom. Thanks!
Extremely exciteful piece of work